In the multiple roles we play in our daily life, which role you think is most interesting and challenging? For me, it is being a parent. There is always something out there that I am not certain and struggle and learn. Being a ‘cool’ mom rather than a boring parent is also part of my motivation to continuously grow.
Thursday night I attended a presentation at the auditorium of our high school, by Rutgers University – “Emotionally Intelligent Parenting in a ‘Race to Nowhere’ Environment”. It covered a lot of topics that most parent care about, and here are some shiny points that I still remember:
- Give your kids some free time for them to talk to themselves, to do the reflection. Reflection time plus less academic work is much more effective than too much academic work;
- Apologize when you lose your cool and monitor your trigger situations. Put your focus on the positives (Love, Pride, Fun, Compassion, Respect, Understanding, and Interest), and don’t worry so much about decreasing the negatives at the moment (Anger, Disappointment, Frustration, Annoyance, Embarrassment, Anxiety, and Withdrawal). The latter is hard for most parents. You can re-balance through increasing positives;
- An interesting story – Two twin girls were born in a hospital 12 weeks ahead of due date. They were put into two separate incubators to avoid infection. One girl weighted at 2 pounds and 3 ounces survived and grew well; the other weighted at 2 pounds always had heart rate problems and it seemed that nobody was able to save her. Finally a nurse did something against the hospital’s rules. She put these two girls in one incubator, letting them hug each other using their tiny little arms and hands. Magic happened – Both girls survived! – Never underestimate of the power of relationship. There is no life or learning, without a caring relationship.
Daffodils by our home, the first signal of early spring.